Why?
by Saine199611
Summary: Nothing has been the same since he left, she hadn't been the same. There had always been one question she kept asking herself over and over; why?


**A/N: This is one of my first attempts at writing fluff so reviews of any kind are appreciated.**

Touko sighed and looked up from her Pokemon book. She just couldn't invest herself in doing anything, not today. Today was the day she had been made Champion of the Unova region, the day she had saved the world, the day she got rid of Team Plasma. The day he had left. It had been a year ago and her thoughts still drifted to him nearly everyday. Cheren would try to explain it away in a logical way and Bianca would just smile sadly, as if she had realized something Touko hadn't.

Touko had gone about her daily life ever since then, now with the added burden of being Champion, and had tried to act like normal but all her friends and family could see the strain in her face. She just wasn't assumed it was because of the stress of being Champion. None of them knew about her constant thoughts of him and how he had changed her life forever.  
All they knew was that she thought of him occasionally. No one knew how much guilt she felt but they knew she was upset. So they decided to try and get her mind off of it. Bianca was the one who had suggested a vacation. They planned it and surprised her one day. Touko was excited and thanked them all, insisting that her two best friends come with her. Happy to see their friend return, even slightly, they quickly agreed. The three were packed and ready to go for the next day.  
The vacation was a whirlwind of boat rides and simply having fun. Bianca and Cheren noticed that as much fun as Touko was having the sadness in her eyes never quite went away. Bianca hated seeing her best friend like this but recognized there was nothing she could do to help. Because she wasn't the person that Touko needed to hear from. Cheren refused to admit that he wasn't able to do anything and invested his all into helping his friend be happy again. He even managed to get Bianca to help but nothing they did worked. They never saw the sadness go away until the end of their trip.  
Because it was the last day the trio planned to go to a local festival. Everything had been going well; the friends had been laughing and looking around, enjoying the festival until Bianca looked up and saw Touko running off. She quickly grabbed Cheren and they ran after her. They found Touko looking around. When they asked her what had happened she simply smiled and told them that she thought she saw someone she knew and that she was sorry for worrying them. Bianca and Cheren knew Touko was lying but didn't push her.  
They went back to the festival, not letting Touko out of their sight. Neither of them missed her glances around, looking for something or someone. At the Pokemon Center that night Bianca pulled Touko aside, saying that she knew Touko wouldn't run off without a good reason and that she only wanted to help her. Knowing that her friend would believe her she told Bianca how she had thought she had seen N at the festival and that's why she had run off.  
Bianca wasn't surprised to hear this, knowing that her friend cared a lot for him, even if Touko didn't know this herself. Bianca hugged Touko and told her that she would bring Cheren home tomorrow and that Touko could stay to look for N if she wanted. Touko hugged her friend back and thanked her. That night she left to look for N. In the morning Bianca explained to Cheren what had happened. His first thought was to follow Touko and try to talk her out of it. Bianca explained how it wouldn't do any good to do that and how they had to support her. Reluctantly Cheren agreed, worried for his friend.  
But he knew that out of all of them she certainly had the best chance of accomplishing her goals once she set her mind to them.

Touko started at the town square where she had seen him last night but found no trace of him anywhere. She searched the whole town until the sun was up but she never gave up. The last place left for her to search was the beach. By this time Cheren had to have woken up and was probably flipping out. She smiled slightly to herself knowing that Bianca would be able to talk sense into him. Right now her priority was to see if it really had been him.  
Walking from one end of the beach to another Touko felt her hope of finding him go down with every step she took. Maybe it was too much to hope for that she would be able to see him again. Eventually she sat down on a rock and looked out at the ocean. She didn't know why this was bothering her so much, why he was bothering her so much. For most of the time she knew him he had been her enemy.  
He had been someone that had to be taken down for the good of the world. He was someone who had tried hurt her and her friends and deceived her. Why had he always been on her mind since that day? Why did she feel horrible for letting him just leave? Why did she want to find him?  
In short, Touko was confused at herself. She laughed at herself, thinking over everything. Even if she did find him what was she going to say? That she was sorry for the way things turned out? That she wanted him to come back? To just see him again and be sure he was ok? Was she going to tell him that she thought about him every day and wondered if he was ok and where he was and if things could ever be good between them?  
Scoffing at herself she stood up and turned to leave. Only to run straight into the person she had been looking for. She backed up and looked at him, not believing her eyes. After all the searching and worrying he was here?  
"N?" He met her eyes and smiled softly.  
"I'm sorry if you think I'm following you but I saw you sitting here and wondered why you were so far from Unova. I thought I saw you at the festival last night but being so far from home I figured it wasn't you. I guess it was." Touko continued to stare at him in shock. Then N staggered back a step and Touko jumped at him, hugging him and crying softly.  
"I missed you so much. Why did you leave like that when no one was forcing you to!? I've thought about how I should have stopped you all the time! Do you know how much I've been worrying about you because I blamed myself for not stopping you!?"  
"Touko..." N said quietly. After a moment his arms moved around her, hugging her closer. "I'm sorry."  
"You idiot I don't want an apology! I want to know why! Why you left, why you never contacted anyone, why you never even paused for a second before you left!" She took a breath and continued her voice a whisper, "All I want to know is why."  
"I thought everyone would be better off if I left them alone. I just wanted to make things better for everyone." There was a pause before a loud crack echoed. N looked at Touko in shock holding his cheek.  
"You really are an idiot. No one's life was better without you there. I was worried about you, Bianca and Cheren were upset because I was worrying, even Professor Juniper was upset because you left without even giving yourself the chance to be happy. No one thought of you as the bad guy or thought you had to leave for us to be happy. If you had stayed even you could have been happy. So don't tell me you thought it was for the best because that's wrong. The best thing would have been if you stayed." She paused letting her words sink in.  
'Touko... I had no idea." He hugged her again. "I'm so sorry for causing all of that. I never thought any of you would care about me."  
"I did. I still do." She pulled back from him, looking at him with tears in her eyes. "Come back with me?" He paused for a moment.  
"Ok."


End file.
